| 1 |
Lord Balfour aurait dit :
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| 2 |
First Welshman : "I hear Farmer Jones has been arrested
for making love to a sheep."
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| 3 | McDougal
was offered 500 pounds for his dog by an American and 100 pounds by an
Englishman. Much to everyone's surprise he accepted the bid from the
Englishman. Afterwards he explained. "The dog can walk back home
from England but he'll never swim the Atlantic."
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| 4 |
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| 5 | Did you
hear what the English, the Irish and the Scots did when they heard the
world was coming to an end? The English all went out and got drunk. The Irish all went to church. And the Scots had a closing down sale.
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| 6 | A
philosophical Scotland supporter on the train south to attend the match
with England was heard to comment: - "No matter if we win or lose this game, we will still be winners in the game of life, because when our opponents waken up tomorrow they'll still be English and we won't."
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| 7 | Un Anglais et un Irlandais sont au Moyen-Orient. Arrêtés
pour petite détention de drogue, ils sont condamnés à recevoir 10 coups
de canne avant d'être expulsés. Toutefois, le responsable de la prison
leur permet d'exprimer un voeu sur les conditions d'application de la
sanction. L'Anglais passe le premier, bien sûr, et demande qu'on lui attache un coussin sur le dos. C'est chose faite, mais au bout de cinq coups, le coussin est déchiré et les cinq derniers sont très douloureux. L'Irlandais, par contre, commence par demander que l'on double le nombre de coups de fouet, et ... qu'on lui attache l'Anglais sur le dos !
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| 8 |
In the beginning,
the Lord God Almighty turned to his best mate, the archangel Gabirel and
said :
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| 9 | An
Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar and each orders a
pint of beer. When the drinks arrive, all three pints have a fly in them. The Englishman just looks at his pint in disgust and pushes it away. The Irishman picks out the fly with his fingers, throws it on the floor and proceeds to drink his pint. The Scotsman picks the fly out of his pint, holds it over his drink and says : “Come on, you little git, spit it out !”
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| 10 | An Englishman, roused by
a Scot's scorn of his race, protested that he was born an Englishman and
hoped to die an Englishman. "Man," scoffed the Scot, "hiv ye nae ambeetion?"
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| 11 |
An Englishman entered a
bar and stood beside a Scotsman.
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| 12 | - Quelle est la différence entre un Français et un
Anglais ? - Un Français est arrogant, et il le sait. Un Anglais est arrogant, mais il ne le sait pas !
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