De Drôles d'Histoires simples

Il existe toutes sortes d'histoires drôles made in Britain. Certaines pourraient se passer n'importe où dans le monde, d'autres seront exclusivement British (ou américaines, écossaises, etc. ). Pour faire simple, nous les avons classées par thèmes pour que chacun y trouve son genre d'humour préféré ...
Vous trouverez sur cette page des histoires sans prétention aucune, et sans thème particulier... Elles sont là uniquement pour vous détendre : profitez-en !

1	Une vieille Anglaise puritaine laisse entendre à tout le village que le cantonnier communal est un ivrogne invétéré. - Je vois chaque jour sa camionnette garée pendant plus de 2 heures devant le "pub" ! Ses propos finissent par arriver aux oreilles du cantonnier qui ne réagit pas. Mais le soir venu, il gare son véhicule municipal devant la porte de son accusatrice ... et il ne la reprend qu'au petit matin.
2	A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asks to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy decided to ask his manager about the matter. Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager: "Some c**t wants to buy a half a head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "and this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half." The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way. Later the manager found the boy and said : "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?" "Essex, sir," the boy replied. "Well, why did you leave Essex," the manager asked. The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and football players there." "Really?" said the manager, "My wife's from Essex." The boy replied, "No shit? Who does she play for?"
3	Sleon une édtue de l'Uvinertisé de Cmabrigde, l'odrre des ltteers dnas une mto n'a pas d'ipmrotncae, la suele coshe ipmrotnate est que la pmeirère et la drenèire soit à la bnnoe pclae. Le rsete peut êrte dnas un dsérorde ttoal et vuos puoevz tujoruos lrie snas porlblème. C'est prace que le creaveu hmauin ne lit pas chuaqe ltetre elle-mmêe, mias le mot cmome un tuot.
4	A tough old charwoman is describing her husband's last moments to her goggling friends. - "And what were his last words, Mrs Jones ?", asks a lady. - " 'E didn't have no last words. I was with 'im till the end !"
5